Digitally enhanced TDA

"putting the 4th finger back into the Shocker"

Team: C.P. Michel

years in league : way too many
penis size: N/A
beers drank this year: Zero
newpapers delivered: Millions (bad ratio)
number of children: varies between 1-5 depending on the day

Michel took a day off from living out his dream of being "paperboy" from the nintendo series to join us for a fantasy baseball draft. Well, not in person (-5 points).

Chimpy comes in with superkeper reyes, dirty theriot, and scottie too hottie baker. Speed was an asset going into the draft. 1st set of picks brought in impact players in Manny and Webb. Power shortage addressed with Manny, and could have been addressed again in round 2, but webb was too good to pass on for michel.

Rounds 3 and 4 didn't serve to add much power by selecting dic-k and martin. I ranked martin slightly higher than mccann, but both were taken appropriately. I am still not buying into mr. gookie ball as an ace pitcher in MLB with his 5ip starts and creeping toward 1.3 whip. He does K many, win alot and if you told me he was an asian girl I would believe you and probably want to sleep with her/him. I would have preferred to see a power bat taken rather than add a 3rd sp this early in the draft.

Rounds 5 and 7 were spent on closers basically taken as per their value. I again devalue F. cordero (and f you too) due to whip fluctuations.
Power still missing and at this point it's starting to look like desperate power option time. Instead Cano is taken. I think he is worth the pick pick at this point but it isn't addressing the power outage. One must think mr feces tosser is fleeing power like dykes flee a dick.

Speaking of dicks, the next 2 picks were on wang and bell. Wang is a strong bounceback candidate provided he doesn't nearly cripple himself running bases again. (In japan, technology has created a robot that runs for you). Bell has shown good ratios in the past and has the job to himself. However, I think he could have went a few rounds later. He is older than some think as well. And heath is just an awful name.

OPerez was another reach in my book. I had no interest in drafting him whatsoever with his track record. Sandoval was the steal, but drafting him moves either him or martin to 3b essentially killing their position scarcity value. Look for one of them, guessing the hispanic one that looks like a fatter, slower bengie molina getting the boot. If martin wasn't on the roster, mr. sleeper looks good here.

Best case scenario for brian giles, er todd helton is 85 20 85 -2 400 I think at this point. Injuries and going off steriods have hurt his career. This is michel's reunion with helton from his 1999 team. He invented him and maybe only he has a copy of his instruction manual still laying around under a pizza box,atari, simpson figurine or dirty sock somewhere.

Todd Wellemeyer wasn't on my radar, but unbeknownst to me, he was actually good this year. Follow up showed him, saunders and floyd as the top 3 sp to fall off their numbers from last year.

Edwin jackson still doesn't have a defined roll yet on his new team, if he goes to the bullpen, he should be dropped immediately. (or if he sticks in the rotation). Kawakami held off hanson somehow for the 5th spot in atl rotation for now and we'll have to wait and see if this little publicized 35 year old japanese transfer student is ishii, gookie or irabu (the fat choad)

Adam Lind is an uncle tom and has yet to live up to potential. Displaying similar if not better minor league numbers as jacoby ellsbury, lind has streaked. He did however play well under mr. Cito Gaston. At this point he is another 80 20 80 0 340 OF. We'll see if michel has the patience to hold on that long.

Bottom Line: Pitching should keep him competitive and 3 closers should beat out any other team with 2 which is almost everyone. Lack of impact offensive bats will be a liability and pull this team down unless the volitale GM rapes Gee for power.